Learning to Forgive Pt. 1
Each new year brings with it new resolutions. In this series, we take a closer look at the Lord’s Prayer to see how this daily practice can shape how we approach the change we want to see in our lives.
Scripture: Luke 11:4; Matthew 18:21-35
According to a study done by Barna Research Group, around 1 out of every 4 practicing Christians has someone in their life that they “just can’t forgive.” Now before you brush this off with that belief that couldn’t possibly be you notice how these are practicing Christians, which is to say that they attend church more than a few times a year. This is a troubling statistic for the church considering how most of us are quick to agree that forgiveness is an essential practice in the Christian faith and to be admired. In that same study, they also concluded that out of that same group, 28% admit that they “wish they could do so.” What this means is that while we’re quick to admire forgiveness as a virtue and perhaps even long for it in our own lives, we often struggle with attaining it for a variety of reasons. As C.S. Lewis once said, “Everybody thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until he has something to forgive.” For some of us, perhaps the hurt we’ve experienced is just too deep— the wound is still too fresh. For others, it may be accurate to say that while we want to forgive and move forward, perhaps we just don’t know how. To that end, Jesus offers a fresh perspective on forgiveness as he frames it as a daily practice in what is famously known as “the Lord’s Prayer.”
It’s about Freedom
Firstly, Jesus wants his disciples to realize that while forgiveness is certainly important for those we’ve forgiven, it is equally important for ourselves. In his reply to Peter’s query on how often he should forgive someone, Jesus tells a parable of a Master and his servant. In this parable, the servant owes his Master ten thousand talents which is, essentially, an unimaginable debt that he could never hope to repay in a hundred lifetimes. Contrast this with the debt that this servant was owed by his fellow servant which was a hundred denarii — roughly a few months work. Due to this servant’s unforgiveness, the Master reconsiders his own forgiveness towards this servant and instead holds him accountable by throwing him in jail. Jesus tells this parable to illustrate the freedom that is found in God’s forgiveness. In this way, forgiveness is a gift that is positively beneficial to those who receive it and adopt it as a model for themselves. If you’re skeptical then for a moment suppose that this is true and that forgiveness truly is meant to be a benefit to the forgiver. In that case, the opposite must also be true as bitterness can have the opposite ill effect in our lives. Consider Hebrews 12:15 where we’re told to, “ "See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” Here the author of Hebrews wants us to realize the ill effect bitterness has on the soul and everything around it. This is especially true when we recognize the effects of unforgiveness amongst friend groups, families, and even between whole people groups in our society. As someone once said, “Holding onto bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to fall.” The true victim is the one with unforgiveness in their heart as they suddenly find their life more limited. Suddenly there are things that you just won’t do even if God asked you to; or even places you won’t go. This is why Jesus’ hope for his disciples is that they would learn to practice forgiveness daily in the form of prayer so that it might become an instinct rather than a struggle. Not to say that forgiveness is meant to be easy but that it is meant to be freeing and that is what Jesus wants for us.
It’s about Abundance
Secondly, we must recognize our own limitations if we are to follow Jesus’ command to adopt the Master’s forgiveness and not behave like the wicked servant in the parable. At the beginning of this story, Peter rhetorically asks Jesus how many times he must forgive his brother and gives his own answer by saying “7 times”. In Jewish culture, the number 7 represents perfection and completeness. In a sense, Peter was patting himself on the back and saying to Jesus, “Look at how forgiving I am!” Jesus was not impressed. Instead, he ups the ante by saying “77 times”, effectively saying that even the best forgiveness that we can muster on our own pales in comparison to the forgiveness offered by God. Jesus wants us to realize that if we are to live a life of forgiveness, it must be dependent not on our own limitations but on the abundance of God afforded to us by our own forgiveness. This means that while I may have my own limitations for what I’m capable of forgiving —as do you— we are called not to forgive out of our own pockets per se but to depend on God’s resources which are bountiful and willing. In the same study by Barna mentioned earlier, they also discovered that “those who experience radical forgiveness have more willingness to forgive others.” What this tells us is the question now becomes a question of whether or not we feel like we’ve experienced the radical forgiveness of God or not. Subsequently, if we believe that we’ve earned our forgiveness from God then it should be of no surprise then that we believe that our own forgiveness must also be earned equally. Forgiveness then becomes a scarce resource in our lives that must be bought with groveling and shame. Indeed, this is how many of us live our lives often without knowing it as we too “purchase” God’s forgiveness with the very same methods. Conversely, what Jesus teaches us is that only those who’ve truly understood the magnitude of God’s forgiveness and have tapped into his wealth will be able to live as freely and abundantly as he has called us to.
The Life You Want
This is the life that God desires for his children. It is one that is not weighed down by bitterness or the mistakes of the past but is able to move forward freely in the knowledge of his grace and love for us. Imagine for yourself how your life would look different if you were able to forgive that incident that happened so many years ago. Would you be able to go back to certain places you’ve mostly avoided? Perhaps you can even catch up with certain people you’ve missed out on. If that’s too difficult to imagine then remember that all things are possible with God (Mark 9:23) and that by his grace we can begin our journey of practicing forgiveness daily.
Study questions:
What does forgiveness look like for you?
In what ways can you see bitterness and unforgiveness as limiting in one’s life?
Why is forgiveness such a difficult practice?
In what ways do we see forgiveness as a scarce resource?
How would your life look different if forgiveness became a daily practice?
